November Thoughts: A Life I Could Have Lived

9 November 2026

The last time I wrote was in September, on my birthday. It's November now. Not that long ago, really, but I feel like writing again. Nothing special happened. Just a few things I've been thinking about lately.

I recently bought myself a new book. Easy to read, easy to understand and not that expensive. Quite a catch, honestly. I also finally bought myself a bookshelf! Something I've been wanting for so long and now I actually have one. Couldn't be happier. My only mission now is to fill it with more books. The funny thing is, I barely have time to read the ones I already own. But I'm trying. At least finishing them would give me a perfectly good excuse to buy more. Haha.

Anyway, I've just finished the first three chapters of Pseudo Immortals. More chapters to go. I was quite surprised to find out that the author is Malaysian. The writing certainly didn't feel like it, in a good way. A proud moment, I'd say. I also noticed that the language was much easier for me to follow compared to some books written by native English speakers. They tend to use words that sometimes make me question my entire understanding of English. And I thought my English was pretty decent! Haha. Makes me wonder how I'd survive if I ever had to study or work abroad.

Speaking of wondering, I've been thinking about something else lately.

What would my life look like if I were living it differently?

Not that I'm unhappy with the life I have. Far from it. I love my life and I wouldn't necessarily change anything about it. But sometimes, when I see how other people live, I wonder what it would be like to experience the same.

I think the best word to describe it is inspired.

I'm not envious of anyone. What should I be envious of, anyway? I just find it fascinating that we're all living in the same world, yet experiencing life so differently. Some people spend their days travelling. Some run their own businesses. Some live quietly in the countryside, away from the noise. And some spend most of their lives working just to make ends meet.

It makes me wonder how many different versions of life a person could possibly live.

If I had the chance, I'd love to own a little bookshop. Nothing fancy. Just a cosy little place filled with books, good coffee and scented candles. I'd serve coffee to my regulars, recommend books and spend my quieter hours reading. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?

I've also become ridiculously obsessed with scented candles lately. I could buy dozens of them and light a different one every night. The smell, the warmth, the atmosphere. I just love it. Sometimes I even leave one burning overnight, which I know is dangerous and really something I need to stop doing.

But back to what I was saying.

I think people can have so many dreams about how they want to live their lives. And there's nothing wrong with that.

The thing is, not everyone gets to choose.

Some people are born into circumstances that leave them with very few options. They don't necessarily get to pursue what they love or decide how they want to spend their days. Sometimes life simply happens to them, and all they can do is make the best of it.

But then again, having the freedom to choose doesn't necessarily mean you'll be happy with what you've chosen.

Isn't that interesting?

We spend so much time believing that happiness comes from having choices. Yet some people have all the opportunities in the world and still wonder whether they've made the right decisions. Others barely have a choice at all and spend their lives wondering what they did wrong to deserve the circumstances they're in.

I suppose that's just how humans are.

We always want something. There's desire, envy, ambition, curiosity. We achieve one thing and start thinking about the next. Sometimes we don't even know what we're looking for.

But I've come to realise that being happy with what you have doesn't mean you stop wanting to experience other things.

I can be perfectly happy with my life and still wonder what it would be like to live another. Those two feelings can exist together. I don't see why they shouldn't.

And I don't think every dream has to become a reality either. Not every dream is possible, but I believe most are worth working towards in one way or another. Whether we actually manage to make them happen is a different question.

Perhaps that's what matters to me. Not necessarily achieving every single thing I've ever dreamed of, but at least giving the dreams that matter a chance.

After all, what's the point of having dreams if we never allow ourselves to do anything about them?

Of course, some dreams are better left as dreams. We only have one life, and pursuing everything isn't realistic. At some point, we have to decide what matters more.

Maybe one day I'll own that little bookshop. Maybe I won't. Perhaps I'll spend the rest of my life collecting books, making coffee at home and imagining what running one would be like. And I'd be perfectly fine with that too.

I don't think I need to live every possible version of my life to appreciate them.

For now, I have my new bookshelf, a book I'm enjoying, coffee that I absolutely cannot live without, and a growing collection of scented candles. They're such ordinary things, but they make me happy.

And I think that's enough for now.

Not because I've stopped dreaming, but because I'm happy with where I am while still looking forward to what else life has to offer.

I guess that's the beauty of being alive. We get to wonder. We get to dream. And sometimes, if we're lucky enough, we get to choose.

Anyway, that's quite a lot of thinking for someone who only wanted to write about her new bookshelf.

Until next time!