BIRTHDAY JOURNAL (THOUGHTS, MESSY TRUTHS, AND WHAT I’M LEARNING ALONG THE WAY)

At some point, I was genuinely afraid to write again. It felt like opening up my journal might force me to face things I wasn’t ready to acknowledge, things I had quietly pushed aside. But this year, for my birthday, I decided not to let that fear define me. Writing has always been my safe place, and I don’t want to lose that part of myself just because of what happened. So yes, I just celebrated my birthday. Another year older, and now I’m standing right at the edge of my 20s. It feels strange, almost bittersweet, to realise how little time I have left in this chapter of my life. Suddenly, every moment feels a little more precious, like I should be spending it with more intention, more heart, and more honesty with myself.

I’m not saying that turning 30 makes you “old,” but it’s definitely long enough to pause, reflect, and make sure I’m on the right track. When I look at my life right now, I see so many blessings. I still have my parents with me, a husband by my side, a family that supports me, friends who are real, a roof over my head, a car to drive, and a job that sustains me. I’ve been given what many people may not have, and I don’t take that for granted. I know that everyone faces tests in life, each unique in its own way. Some battles are visible, some are silent. But what I’ve come to realise is that no matter where we stand, there’s always something to be grateful for. As I grow older, I find myself appreciating these blessings more deeply, knowing how fragile they are and how they could be gone in the blink of an eye. Life has been teaching me to focus on what I do have, rather than dwelling on what I don’t. Because at the end of the day, our journeys are different, our stories are different, and our blessings are different. And somehow, I’m finally starting to understand that in ways I never could before. Gratitude makes everything richer. The more we practice it, the more we see how much we already have. 

I used to be like everyone else. I’d get upset when things didn’t go my way. I’d get frustrated, angry, and start questioning everything about my life. Why isn’t this happening for me? Why does it feel like I’m always behind? Those questions used to weigh so heavily on me. But as I got older, I began to realise something important, the things I wanted were often much smaller compared to the blessings I already had. I was so focused on what I thought I lacked that I couldn’t see how much I had already been given. And when I finally paused to take it all in, I saw that I was already living in abundance. That doesn’t mean I don’t have dreams anymore. I do. I have goals I want to achieve and milestones I still hope to reach. But the difference now is in how I see them. I no longer rush or demand for them to happen on my timeline. I trust that when the time is right, they will come. Success doesn’t need to be forced, it finds you when you’re ready for it. I believe when that moment arrives, I’ll be exactly where I’m meant to be, in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. And when it happens, I’ll be able to embrace it fully, not out of desperation, but with peace, knowing that I deserve it.

Life has a way of teaching patience if you let it. It shows you that not everything is meant to be immediate. Sometimes the waiting, the delays, even the disappointments, are just part of shaping you into the person who will be ready for the blessing when it finally comes. And while I still have moments where I wish things would move faster, I’m learning to be gentler with myself, to trust the timing, and to have faith that everything will unfold when it’s meant to. Don’t measure your life by what you don’t have yet. Measure it by the blessings you already carry. The rest will come, and when it does, it’ll come at the perfect time.

Turning a year older makes me realise that life isn’t about having it all figured out by a certain age. It’s about learning, unlearning, and growing into the person you’re meant to be. Life is fragile and precious. I may not know exactly what’s ahead, but I do know that I want to keep living with gratitude, to love harder, to appreciate deeper, and to show up for the people and moments that matter. 

That’s all for now. Thanks for sticking around and reading my thoughts. I’ll write again when the words find me. May we all keep finding little reasons to be grateful each day 💕

Until next time,

Qils ✌
Writing life as it comes ❤